What would you think if I told you that I tied a yellow ribbon Before I joined the Hearts Club Band? That I had Mandy long before I ever fucked around with Polythene Pam? They didn't mean a thing to me I was young and discretion-free They creep back occasionally And they always have to ask me Who do you love? I wouldn't care if you fingered me smokin' in the boys room Hanging with the rubberband man Or doing the ballroom blitz, you know that it's not criminal To wanna hold more than one hand You didn't mean a thing to me I was young and fancy-free You creep back quite regularly And you always need to ask me Who do you love? Is it really such a mystery? Who told you love is all you need? Let me whip my silver hammer out Let me hit you with my twist and shout Who do you love?

I would gladly crush the head of the man Who used a crowbar to pry my car door open And I would detach his face like I did with my car stereo Which he went ahead and took anyway Get away from my car! I don't indulge myself too much except When I'm in a record store, it's my addiction And I don't even care about the dents in my exterior But why'd he have to pinch my gabba gabba hey? Get away from my car! He took my Foo Fighters ... I can live with that He took my Radiohead ... I can live with that He took my Sublime ... that was Devin's, so he can live with that But he... he took my Budokahn ... I cannot ... not live without that! He took my Tommy can you hear me Now he's gonna, gonna learn to fear me He took my Ben Folds Five If I had seen it, he wouldn't be alive He took my Weezer Pinkerton Of all the new stuff, that was my favorite one He took my Village Green.... But what he'll get is vengeance like he has never dreamed I will dust for pawprints, reconstruct the crime of the scene And if he doesn't turn up, I'll teach myself Einstein But I will do him one better ... I will build a time machine And travel back with a sickle to wipe his grimace clean And I will use his innards to spell out something obscene But if I don't have the guts, at the very least I'll scream Get away from my car!

Make me your date for the prom And then let's skip the prom And head straight for the back roads Let me dispense with the charm We'll go right to that farm And we'll show it abandonment Cause I don't wanna face my friends in a peach tuxedo, oh no... I don't even think I can dance, but I can do the lambido, oh yeah... Show me your mom's kitchenette But then please don't forget To put that dog in the basement Let's lock your sister outside Then pretend that we died And that your bedroom is heaven I think I could be your family under these conditions, oh yeah... Let me see if I can arouse, and not your dad's suspicions, oh no... Oh yeah! Won't we grow up soon enough? We won't need all this stuff When we're as old as my parents What are you saving it for? What if there's a world war And I don't see any action? Please don't make me die the last virgin, my bullets for freedom, oh no... You want me to, I'll crawl in the dirt, I'll even wear that tuxedo, oh yeah... Oh yeah!

Breakfast at Tiffany's makes women weak at knees I don't get it Chopsticks at Japanese and Chinese restaurants I can't get it Catchy songs about peace and love Words that string together, mean whatever Think they're clever but they don't make sense And you still think they're profound; It's so damn loud, how do you even listen? I love hating everything you love Loving everything I hate Giving gifts to a Valentine -- good way to make you mine So you tell me Telling friends I'm so sweet one day in 52 weeks So you sell me Maybe I should compromise, 'cause I look in your eyes And I see what you see But I still wonder which you'd prefer: A knight almost every day or for sure when you say, but only occasional... I love hating everything you love Loving everything you hate Maybe I'm just jealous, a bit over-zealous So don't tell us how much you love them 'Cause it's my contention that love is finite And I might make a scene I love hating everything you love Loving everything you hate

Chillin' in a glastnost glass house, Lenny, and your lease is running out Irena's not square but she sees the place sunnier without you lying about Aren't you tired, aren't you cold? Don't you know you're getting old? Are they still afraid of you? Do they dream of what you'll do? Now you're chalky and you're white And your not a happy sight to see... Put him under, dig him up Tie him to a Jimmy truck What a drag it'd be to keep him around Rob and plunder, do your worst Don't waste your rubles on a hearse Anything less and it might not keep him down Easy to remember, tricky to forget about the party where you killed the buzz Irena gets red when she hears those people turn their backs on the facts because They're so tired, they're so cold Don't they know they're getting old? Are they still afraid of you? Do they dream of what you'll do? You've been worshipped long enough The decision isn't tough for me... Put him under, dig him up Tie him to a Jimmy truck What a drag it'd be to keep him around Rob and plunder, do your worst Don't waste your Stoli on a hearse Anything less and it might not keep him down Why do you keep asking for it? Do you need a god so bad that you would let him pound you for it? Why won't you ditch the old hat? Are you tired, are you old? Do you know you're getting cold? Are you still afraid of you? Do you dream of what you'll do? You can suffer, you can give But the only way to live is free

I won't go in detail Of Diana's fairytale 'Cause I know you've heard it all before Let's just say she won the crown Couldn't keep dinner down Said the Prince was just a clown And now she's six feet under... God couldn't save the Princess I can't save a dime In the name of God, country, and progress Stop wasting my time Am I small? Am I mean? Am I somewhere inbetween a rock star and a heart ache Why am I not so angry at the Paparazzo Who snapped off the final picture -- So contrary to the Scripture? If the cameras weren't on her Would she still be your honor? No doubt, she was a cutey; She died in the line of duty. God couldn't save the Princess I'll save my tears for a girl I knew A twisted British model of success What did she really do for you? Why do you feel worse for her sons Than you do for motherless ones Who won't grow up to be the king? Why do I take such pleasure In the end of lives of leisure? How can your admiration withstand the saturation? Do your tears make you happy 'Cause they prove that you feel crappy? Maybe I don't care but you just want to say you were there. God couldn't save the Princess I thought God saved the best for last? In a world that judges asses and assets Sometimes even God takes a pass. Maybe I just like to rip her 'Cause I know that her glass slipper Would shatter on my foot and cut me down Just because she was a royal Must I drag her name through soil? I can't be a subject loyal and of conversation God couldn't save the Princess Should He save the Queen? I don't give a damn about their Highness Well I don't give a damn about anyone but me -- please, God, save me. Die Diana, Die Diana, Die Diana, Diana we love you.

Right here, I stood right here But most of the time, I sat right there If we were ahead by 50 sometimes the coach would remember to empty the bench You had to keep a lookout for splinters It wasn't easy to play the postion I played And I made up my mind that somehow some day I would be able to make my dad proud Hey batter batter, is something the matter, huh? Pee Wee Baseball kiss Hey batter batter, is something the matter, huh? Pee Wee Baseball, kiss my asterisk at the bottom of the song... Even if I stood on tiptoes I couldn't see the lineup chart The coach always held it just high enough that my heart would start racing to wait and find out If today was the day he'd decided To trot out his big secret weapon But I ended up off the page and still dreaming of using my own secret weapon... CHORUS Dairy Queen at the end of the game Was something I did quite well But no strawberries to show all the girls and my cleats had no dirt at all At night I hung out in my bedroom Listening to Cheap Trick And I spun and I spun and I spun and I spun... and thought about getting a hit CHORUS Hey batter batter... Hey batter batter it won't be long before the asterisk at the bottom of the song Here comes the windup...and here comes the pitch Don't take your eye off... here's the asterisk: * Lily-white butt, pink backside, right down where the sun don't shine.

Wake up, twist the dial Company for a while Need more sleep before I walk my miles What do I do? Rhetorical question Treading this life of circumnavigation Oh, Lord, help me bear this hibernation If something doesn't happen soon I may just be ordinary Just like me Just like you Just like me Just like everybody Talk to me -- see me shine Love me -- I don't mind Can't you see my future And how far I'm behind? Look in this crystal song and see If I will be ordinary Just like me Just like you Just like me Just like everybody Walk with me among the yellow trees Hold me, I'll shield you from the cold November breeze Promise me you won't leave Trade my future fortune for you and me Oh, girl, let me hold your horses We will be ordinary We will be -- You and me -- ordinary Extraordinary

Running wild on Silver Spring in summer. The fireflies lighting up my jar. Pretending not to hear my mother Calling to the sky for his star Night after day, I played Mother May I took 10,000 giant steps alone. Dragging from a bumper in December. Tumblin' through the snow when I couldn't hang on. My mother crying to remember. I didn't even know he'd gone. My first suit coat. A noose for my throat. I taught myself to tie one on. He never gave me money. He never gave me a game. He gave my mom a sonny -- and with me a lifetime of pain. But the only thing he gave me was my name. Heading for a fall in late October. My head in a fog, my feet off the ground. Someone kicked the water tower over. I looked, but no one was around. I broke for the spring. Went looking for something Or someone to show me the way. He never gave me money. Don't know if our eyes are the same. He took my family from me. But he left me someone to blame. And someone to find and find me with my name. The seasons of my life turn and twist me The more I live the less I yearn. The reason my wife and kid resist me The less I give, the more I burn. He never gave me money. I guess he gave us away. Left us with noses runny. Left and ran 'til he died today. On the stone in the ground above where he'll lay -- my name.